Conversations Between Recently Graduated Friends

Did you read my most recent blog post? I feel like it’s along the same line as what we were talking about.

i just read it and i feel like it hits so close to home. “jack of all trades master of none” is something that plagues me. i’ve always been envious of people who have picked up playing an instrument and have been playing for years or an artist who has been experimenting since they were a kid. i feel like i’ve never found a hobby that i truly identify with or am good at which makes me feel bad even though it shouldn’t. i don’t know what i like, which is an opportunity for self exploration but is also discouraging. when i hear about other people’s lifelong passions i’m envious because they understand themselves on a level i feel i’ve never reached. i’m experimenting more now with different things (just bought stuff to watercolor yesterday) which is exciting. i find myself in a state of constant consumption: watching tv, scrolling through tiktok, reading a book and so on. i don’t really post on social media i just observe. i feel like im entering a stage of life where i’m ready to create. i’m sure i’ll do a hundred different things but hopefully i’ll find something that fulfills me and that im happy to devote my time to

i’ll finally be able to answer the question “so what do you like to do in your free time” with excitement instead of racking my brain for anything i’ve ever enjoyed

“I’m finally ready to create” is such a perfect way to put it wow. I haven’t thought about it like that but you’re right we have been raised to be like observers with social media and tv and just everything our current world is built on. Maybe this struggle we feel is because we have always had the world at our finger tips. I read something recently that was talking about iPad babies and how kids need to be bored sometimes because boredom leads to creativity and I was like holy shit. Why are we only really having that conversation about kids? If I wanted to, I could literally never have to think anything ever. I could just fill every spare moment I have in my life with some form of content. And I hate to admit it but my screen time is ass and I pretty much am doing that. I was talking to Joey the other day and I was like it feels like my brain is literally atrophying. So I’m trying to undo that by writing more, even if it’s shitty, and just doing things to make my brain work again

i totally feel that. the older i get the less i want to be on my phone. i’ve realized that i spend so much time just wasting time. just existing until something else happens. i’m like ugh i just gotta get through this shift and then ugh i just gotta do these dishes and then ugh i just gotta get in the shower and then i can do something enjoyable. like i hardly live in the present bc im constantly “getting though” something. i feel like a lot of it could be our adhd and the fact that being bored is physically painful. when i’m under stimulated it affects every aspect of my well being. i need constant stimulation to do literally anything. if i couldn’t listen to music or podcasts while i was doing things i didn’t want to do, i don’t think id ever get anything done

or i’m at work and im like omg the possibilities and opportunities are endless i can’t wait to do xyz when i get home and by the time im home im too tired or overstimulated to actually do any of it

Maybe that’s why getting out of school now has been such a difficult transition because when we were in school, there was always a predetermined next thing and outside of studying or going to class. It was almost like we gave ourselves the permission to just be on our phones and not do any other work and we were okay with that but now that we’re not in school we don’t have a scapegoat and we’re realizing wait fuck this is my life and I’m tired of being complacent

Also i know im an adult bc i just typed that using voice to text

thats hilarious